The Adventures of Tim Dixon: December 2010

Friday, December 17th 2010:

Carlos, Radar, and I arrived in the Las Vegas airport, picked up our GMC Terrain, and drove to Planet Hollywood to pick up Jamie who was currently receiving a very special package. After getting lost and finding a cheap buffet, we called OnStar to get directions to our next destination. OnStar, however, could not help us without a zipcode, though I was informed that I ran 2 redlights in the meantime. Our first stop: Death Valley National Park. I only have 1 picture here that turned out, it was either too foggy or too dark to get a good picture.

After seeing one overlook, we drove to the visitors center and stopped at a local bar for some drinks. Afterwards we drove 90 mph through the park to a town I don't remember the name of to get some much needed rest.

Saturday, December 18th 2010:
This was the only day that felt like winter to us. We wanted to go up to Sequoia National Park to hug General Sherman and to take in the views in wintertime. At the gate we were informed that we needed RainChains to continue. There was a place a mile back that rented them so we drove back to get a pair. Unfortunately they cost $80 to rent, so we said Fuck it drove back to the gate, lied to the ranger, and continued up that long windy road without them (if you've been there you know which one). Being that we're from PA and know how to drive in the snow we were fine. When we got to the top we waded through 2 feet of snow and water (literally a pool of water under the snow) to hug General Sherman. I took a group picture quickly in front of the great tree but it didn't turn out the way I wanted it to, and there was no way I was going to stay there and try again. We ran back to the car and headed on the road.

Our original plan was to go to Yosemite next, but we were tired of the snow and drove to Monterey for some fortys, soco 100, karaoke, and santa whores. This was the start of our heavy drinking throughout the trip, and would set pace for some serious partying.

Sunday, December 19th 2010:
From Monterey we drove south on route 1 along the Big Sur coastline, which is probably one of the most beautiful coastlines in the world.

This next picture is of a very sweet beach that you can't get to without a deathwish where there is a waterfall on the beach.

Along the way we spotted a beach filled with Elephant Seals, so I promptly clubbed them all to death, including the babies, and stacked them in a neat pile!

I didn't really do that, they just appeared dead, even when we walked out on the beach until they moved it was hard to tell. If you've never heard the sound an elephant seal makes or seen how they fight, I reccomend you do so at your earliest convenience.

At the end of the day we had some sweet Mexican food and continued our journey.

Monday, December 20 2010:
We departed our hotel in Palm Springs and ventured into Joshua Tree National Park, my favorite stop of this trip. This park was unique in the fact that you could just pull over at any stop and have a great time climbing the boulders, there was no need to hike out of the way to get to the sites.

Also it was home to Joshua Trees, which look like they came out of a Dr. Suess book.

Beard Buddies

That was the last we saw of Carlos.

Giant Rock or Giant Herhey's Kiss? You decide.

Mark ate a mushroom and got real big.

Skull rock.

Chollo (pronounced Choya) gardens was our last stop out of the park to find a cache and to throw spiny chollo balls at Radar's head while he screams: "IT'S IN MY HEEEEEAAAAAAAAD!!" We finished off the night by driving to Phoenix, Az the same night that the Pittsburgh Penguins destroyed the Phoenix Coyotes. After haggling with the worst negotiator ever, we stayed in a nice downtown hotel with a high speed refridgerator. If you don't know what that is, you haven't lived.

Tuesday, December 21st 2010:
I don't have any pictures from this day, but we played some disc at a disc course in the suburbs of Phoenix then cached in South Mountain park, where Carlos and I almost got Rocked like a Hurricane by the same rock. This was the most rediculous hike, or should I say vertical climb, to get to a cache. Radar was with us on this, Jamie was not. We split up to eat, Carlos and I to a nice chinese place, Radar and Jamie to KFC, then bought a sweet DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince cd at a pawn shop for $1. Afterwards we jetted down to Tucson, Az to meet up with Corie and Brandon for a few drinks. I will tell you the whole story in person if you want, but basically the night was filled with broken beer bottles, bouncers removing us from bars, police, Waffle House, fistfights, and crackheads. Hands down one of the craziest nights I've ever had. The next morning was going to be rough, although not for me somehow...

Wednesday, December 22nd 2010:
Carlos and I decided to experience Saguaro National Park while Jamie recovered and Radar hid from the sprinkling rain. We split up in the desert. Now let me say, at first I did not give Saguaro a fair chance. I immediately judged it and said it was lame when we first got there, but after splitting off from the group and getting a little lost in the desert seeing a coyote and multiple roadrunners along the way, I really like this park. Afterwards we drove to Las vegas for 2 nights of partying.

Thursday, December 23rd 2010:
And when I say partying, I mean partying with this guy:

"That's what I love about high school girls, I keep getting older but they stay the same age"

This is another night I'd like to share with you in person, but let's say it involves Stillers, Pawn Stars, alcohol, adultery, threesomes, winning a lot of money, and positive thinking.

Friday December 24th through Saturday December 25th 2010:

We drove to the airport, flew out to Atlanta (Radar took a different flight to Texas) and arrived only to be given the Christmas Present of a cancelled flight by Delta. Not cancelled by weather, but because their flight attendant decided they didn't want to work Christmas. We rented a car "Planes, Trains, and Automobiles" style and drove 12 hours through blizzards to arrive back in PA.

I would like to close this story with a little game I like to call: "The desert will fuck you up!"