Vengeance of the Gods, Part 2: Tim Dixon's Greatest Enemy

" At the end of the path of water, a red door hides a stone window. In this place you will fight your greatest enemy, and Tim Dixon will die on this day."

 

 

Hermes' words echoed as I awoke in a cold sweat, the image of a red door burnt in my mind. The oracles foretold this legend, and they were never wrong. I had no way of knowing when I would meet my fate, so I journeyed to find out more.

 

My journey got delayed a bit.

 

Okay, back on track! I climbed to the top of Mount Washington to take in the views. While on top, the winds stirred, and the clouds started to collect in one spot. Zeus was definitely behind this.

 

"I won't let your hatred for me harm these mortals, Zeus!"

 

 

While everyone escaped in the train, I held the storm at bay with palm strikes, but Zeus unleashed all of his fury. I countered with a 100% power palm strike, which I had never done before. The strike was so powerful, the energy went back in time.

 

 

I broke a sweat so I decided to go swimming under a waterfall.

 

Afterwards I climbed to the top of the waterfall to enjoy the sense of height.

 

After this whole ordeal I decided to go to Kennebunkport, Maine where I have a little vacation home.

 

 

After taking in the view of the ocean, I grabbed my sailboat and sailed to my quaint oceanside home.

 

 

 

After some beers, (and some time sobering up with the local sea lions, as the rest of the town is a bunch of yuppie snobs) I decided to go to an old favorite place called Bash Bish Falls, which lies on the border of New York and Massachusetts.

 

This waterfall is usually crowded, so I came here an hour before sunset to avoid the people.

 

Fuck you, signs. This swimming hole is way too perfect to pass up.

 

I could stay at Bash Bish forever. When the noisy tourists are gone, this waterfall is the most beautiful place to swim that I have been to on the east coast.

 

My final stop on the way home was in Kingston, Ny, where I enjoyed meeting some new friends at a local punk bar. A few of us went to my hotel room to enjoy some pizza and stories. Unfortunately I don't remember their names or where we got the delicious pizza (although alcohol may have distorted my taste buds), but I do remember having a very very good time. When I awoke, I noticed a strange sign in the bathroom.

 

Someone was kidnapping towels, and I was going to find them. I tracked the thief to a mainenance shaft.

 

Up there I found a broken man, babbling on about a place called "The Gray Towers". I had no desire to get mixed up with a crazy, but then I heard him mumble about a "path of water" I had to follow up this lead.

 

Gray Towers. I walked towards this stone mansion, not knowing what faced me. Who was my greatest enemy? Zeus? Would I truly fall in battle today? There was only one way to find out.

 

I entered the estate and searched the house. It was empty. As I went back outside, I was confronted by creations of Hephaestus himself. He sent mechanical warriors to kill me, including...

 

Aliens...

 

 

Predators...

 

Aliens on bikes...

 

and...What the fuck is that?

 

 "If that's what is supposed to kill me, then the prophecy was a joke!" I cried out after crushing these weak opponents. Then I turned around and noticed it.

 

 

The path of water...

 

and the red door at the end.

 

 

I walked inside to find a stone window. I climbed through this window and came upon a courtyard, with a strange table made of water.

 

 

I approached this table, and noticed 2 seats, one at each end.

 

I sat and waited for my greatest enemy to appear, and he did.

 

My greatest enemy is myself. The pool of water generated an identical copy of myself. One of us the good Tim, one of us pure evil.  It was at this point, I laughed. My doppelganger asked what was so funny.

 

"On this day, Tim Dixon will die. One of us won't make it out alive."

 

 

And so the battle ended, and the other Tim defeated forever. Now only this Tim Dixon survives, and he forges ahead for the final battle against Zeus.

 

 

Vengeance of the Gods Part 1: Battle of the Blue Ridge

James and I decided to take a weekend trip through the northern part of the Blue Ridge Parkway. Storms thundered as we neared our destination, but the sun came through in the end, lending us fantastic views of the valley below.

 

As we climbed the rocks of an overlook, I felt as if someone was following me.

 

"Bro, you got someone up on your six. Might be trying to harsh up your ki"

 

 

Sure enough, it was the yellow shirted assassin, famous for being so cocky of a ninja assassin, that he wears a bright yellow shirt. He lunged at me, but with a swift roundhouse kick, he was sent over the edge of the cliff.

 

"Looks like they'll be calling you the red shirted assassin, now"

 

I then explained to James that the Yellow Shirted assassin had to be hired by someone, as he only kills for money. Somebody wanted me dead, and will probably have more assassins lined up. We needed to search for clues on the assassin's body. Then we take the fight to this person with a grudge. Let's head out!

 

 

"What? Sorry I wasn't listening. I was too busy thinking about how awesome my hair must look right now."

I sighed and said "Want to hike to the bottom of these cliffs?"

"Sweet deal. Which way do you want to go? There's a trail over here"

"Let's climb down this waterfall instead"

 

 

As we climbed down the waterfall, a loud crashing noise started from above.

                                                

 

 

A massive flood was on it's way carrying logs and boulders to smash us to oblivion. We made it across the bridge at the bottom just in time.



 

We found no body at the base of the cliff, but there was a blood trail. On our way, Jamie noticed a peculiar tree. As he gazed upon it, it seemed to open up. 

 

By the time either of us realized what was happening, Jamie was swallowed by the tree. I rushed along the path, ready for vengeance. Along the way, I walked through a web, but not just any web...

 

...the web of the telepathic spider, which has a poison that can control your mind. The poison rushed through my veins as I walked through the woods.

 

The spider led me across a long bridge to an ancient lever. I had no way of knowing what the lever did, but I could not stop from pulling it.

 

As I pulled a lever, a bright light passed over me. I awoke to find myself in Medieval Britain.

 

 

There stood a knight, looking upon me with rage, but before I could say anything, a battle erupted.

 

 

There were knights jousting each other, while others attacked with swords.

 

 

During the fight, I heard a familiar voice. "You will pay for what you did to Poseidon!" I knew it was none other than...

 

 

Hermes, the trickster, and messenger of the gods. "There is no way you will win this battle, and even if you could, you will never make it home."

 

 

"Well at least I can kill you," I said before jumping into the battle, defeating every last soldier. Hermes charged at me with a sword, but I decapitated him in mid stride. The owl flew away to a perch. "Hermes, I know this human was your puppet" I declared before pulling out a pistol.

 

I shot the owl, which was Herme's true form. In his dying breath, he told me this: "I am but a messenger of the gods. Zeus will have his vengeance. At the end of the path of water, a red door hides a stone window. In this place you will fight your greatest enemy, and Tim Dixon will die on this day."

 

He was right. I had no time machine. Hermes used his powers to bring me here, and I  have no way of getting back. Just then a blinding light shone from behind me. When I turned to look...

 

I beheld James in a bulldozer time machine. "James, I watched a tree eat you. What happened?"

 

"Well it all started when I woke up inside the tree. It was dark so I started a fire...

 

...and the tree spit me out....

 

 

I yelled for you and searched high and low, but could not find you"

 

"So that's when you figured out I was sent back in time and you built a time machine to come find me, right?"

 

"Not exactly. I was walking around looking for you and I found a tree that looked like a bong, and that reminded me that I hadn't smoked in a while...

 

 

...so I got my pipe out, but I dropped it and it shattered. I noticed a bulldozer and decided to turn it into a piece, and man it works so good, but I guess it also sends you through time."

 

"Oh...Well can it get us back?"

 

"I don't know, brah, let's light it up!"

 

 

And so we arrived back on the Blue Ridge Parkway at nightfall. I knew there would be more battles to come, but for now, I enjoyed the view